When you’re self-employed there’s little that can upset the equilibrium quite as much as someone from Timbuktu taking over your email account. Last week this happened to me and let me tell you, it is damned annoying. In fact in the annoying charts it up there with Robert Preston, Gordon Ramsay and people who meow. The reason I’m suffering is simple – since the day of the hack nothing has happened. No word from Google as to when my account might be restored. No help. No advice. Just a friggin form to fill in.
I was in a good mood last Wednesday morning. The sun was shining, birds were singing at my window and I’d been notified of four new writing jobs heading my way. My inbox was full of Christmas party invites, there was some words of thanks from a client in Amsterdam and I had a Buy One Pizza Get Another for £2 - message from PizzaExpress. Yes dear reader, it was one of those days when everything in the world was right.
It was then that an email titled ‘Failed Login’ arrived from Google Technical Services. They told me that an ‘unsuccessful login attempt had been detected on my Gmail account from an unfamiliar location.’
Needless to say, I ignored it.
A few minutes passed. I supped on my cup of Earl Grey, I swivelled a full circle in my swivel chair and successfully dunked a custard cream. Next I let the cat out and thereafter I think I may have fed the goldfish.
Upon my return to my computer something seemed amiss. My Gmail wouldn’t open. The little man who lives in the computer told me that my password was wrong. I tried again. I tried again. I tried again. I tried again. And then the phone rang.
My sister asked what I was playing at. “This email what’s all that about” she questioned. You’re not in Barcelona are you?
Then my mobile rang. It was a designer I used to work with. “Hey John, just checking you’re ok. Are you in Barcelona?
Next I got a call from my daughters’ school. “Is everything alright? It looks like your email has been hacked. Someone from Barcelona is using it.”
My email had indeed been hacked. Some knob from god only knows where was busy telling my friends, acquaintances, and clients that I’d been mugged in Barcelona and was now penniless. A Western Union money transfer of 1600 euros would enable me to return home. Let me tell you there would be absolutely no chance that I’d be mugged in Barcelona.
