Language is dying.
Linguists reckon the world loses a language roughly every three months.
But one language seems to be making something of a comeback.
‘Unwinese.’
For those who missed it the first time round, this gloriously nonsensical language was gifted to the world by Stanley Unwin, a British comic genius. In the film 'Carry On Regardless', they simply called it ‘gobbledygook.’
Lately, reading job posts feels like we’ve wandered into Professor Unwin’s lecture hall. It’s all ‘facilitate impact leveraging’, ‘synergistic ecosystem optimisation in the digital transformation space’, and ‘campaigns that intersect attention culture and business impact.’
Laughable.
And now AI is writing them. Unwinese at industrial scale.
Candidates reply with AI-polished CVs, and a bot at the other end reads them. Machines talking gobbledygook to other machines, while the humans wait on the sidelines.
Let’s face it, what these posts write and what they actually mean are often two different things.
When they say: ‘Seeking a dynamic self-starter to actualise strategic initiatives across multiple touchpoints while driving innovative solutions in our agile, fast-paced environment.’
What they mean is: ‘We need someone to do marketing stuff. Quickly. With not enough resources.’
But the trouble with corporate gobbledygook is that it doesn’t attract better candidates; it scares away good ones. In my experience, the clear, honest posts are the ones that get the best people.
Just for a laugh, here’s some more translatory wisdom for you:
‘Comfortable with ambiguity’ = There is no brief.
‘Rockstar ninja guru’ = We’ll overwork you.
‘Wearing many hats’ = Three jobs, one salary.
‘Unlimited holiday’ = You’ll never take any.
‘Competitive salary’ = We’re not telling you the number.
‘Fast-paced environment’ = Constant chaos.
‘Like a family’ = Questionable work-life boundaries.
A job post is the first piece of advertising a candidate sees from you. Would you sign off a campaign that read like this?
Over the years, I’ve written a few job posts myself, so here are some humble suggestions for talent managers, HR professionals, or anyone involved in writing a job post. Write it like you’re explaining the role to a friend. Use real words. Be honest about the challenges. Specify the actual salary range.
Good people want clarity, not corporate word salad. So, lose the jargon.
Because getting a little thing like better communication right is ‘Most facilitarious for all concerney parties.
Deep joy!’
