We like Galaxy chocolate bars, I think we're all agreed on that. Lovely, creamy, sugary sledges of tooth rotting gorgeousness, all bundled in delightfully gold foil - wonderful stuff. Mind you, we shouldn't be surprised we think this way, because for the last few years, the Galaxy people have been telling us what to think.
Remember that ad which ran rather too frequently? The one with the Naomi Campbell lookalike (without the telephonic violence), discovering her hoard of milky bricks have been devoured by her, frankly selfish, flatmates? Relieved by the secret stash in her jewellery box, like a booze-hound with a gin bottle in the cistern? You know the one. Well, the strapline was 'Think hiding it. Think Galaxy'.
Leaving aside the rather clunky grammar in the pay-off, I could never really see the message the ad was peddling. Unless they were suggesting that hiding choccy around your flat, in order to feast on it when alone, will result in a willowy figure and model-like features. Which it most assuredly will not.
Time for a re-think - and here it comes. The new Galaxy spot is on our screens right now and it takes a completely different tack. Interestingly, it's even more perplexing.
The set-up shows us a lady eating her Galaxy on an ancient bus in some vaguely Mediterranean location. Due to some oranges on the road (which happens more than you'd think), her journey is delayed. So a geezer in a sports car gets a bit fresh and beckons her into his passenger seat (those continentals, eh?). Around this point, we realise the young woman looks a bit like Audrey Hepburn. I say 'a little' as she doesn't so much resemble Audrey as she does a waxwork of Ms. H, rejected as being too inaccurate and released onto public transport to eat sweets forever.
But here's a funny thing. It IS Audrey Hepburn. Permission had to be sought from her family and everything. This is very confusing, I confess. I suppose it's possible my mind plays tricks on me, thanks to one too many chocolatey sugar hits.
Anyway, alarmingly Audrey accepts matey-boy's offer, hops off the bus, runs to the front, steals the driver's peaked cap and sticks it on Romeo's bonce. This is manifestly cruel. I suspect archaic coach drivers aren't on a big salary. Our man may well have a large family to support and Adland Public Buses Plc. probably charge their people for replacement hats. But does our heroine take any of that on board? Does she heck as like. In fact, she thinks the whole stunt is a hoot. We know she does because, having given somebody else's property away, she hops into the back of the sports car and off she roars - gobbling Galaxy as she goes.
Perhaps inevitably, the soundtrack plays 'Moon River' while all this is cracking off, fading as we greet the new strap 'Why Have Cotton When You Can Have Silk?'. Only it's not new. No, no, no. It's the one they had before the 'Think Galaxy' thing. Perhaps they were hoping we wouldn't remember.
In effect, the brief to create a new campaign for Galaxy has been cleverly ducked. Instead of doing any novel thinking, Galaxy's agency have put their efforts into securing the rights to some vintage movie footage and a classic theme song. Just for good measure, they've resurrected an old slogan. Not only is this somewhat lazy, it's been done many times before (remember the Holstein Pilz 'movie clips' ads in the eighties?).
For my money, this is very disappointing. I am sure there are dozens of agencies and hundreds of talented creatives who would have done this project real justice. Bringing some smart ideas and sharp conceptual thinking to the table would have been a good start. Instead we're lumbered with something very flat and dull, which does Galaxy and Audrey Hepburn no favours at all.
So next time I fancy some choc action, I'll probably overlook the Galaxy and settle for two Drifters ...
Magnus Shaw is a blogger, copywriter and consultant.
Wain March 19th, 2013, around noon
I think you'll find her face is in fact created using CG and some clever facial mapping rather than some vintage footage and although not entirely perfect I think the agency did a good job.