Opinions - The Neutrogena Splash.


by John Fountain



Open on a young blond actress laughing and full of fun. She flicks a strand of falling hair away from her face and looks deep into the camera. With a knowing smile she says, "I'm good about washing my face" and then with a pause "But sometimes I wonder what's left behind."

The Neutrogena Marketing Director looks up from the script, sips his tea, and slowly submerges a custard cream into his brew. Turning to the creative director he says, "Yes. I like this opening, very nice start. Do we turn on the hose now?"

The creative director calms him. "Woah, we need to get past the establishing shot first. Then we hit deluge."

Cut to the young actress lathering her face with Neutrogena Deep Clean Microdermabrasive Oil Free Acne Wash with Stabilizing Complex.

We see her giggling as she liberally applies the product. One cheek, then the next, until her face is covered in bubbles. And once she is enclosed in lather, she turns and looks deep into the camera and says, "Hidden toxins; that's what."

Again the Neutrogena Marketing Director looks up from the script. "Excellent work and now.. for the finale?" The agency team shift in their chairs and with nervous*

 excitement they turn towards their creative director who, with a flourish, rises to his feet. He allows a moment to regain his poise and straightens his neckerchief.

Cut to a squadron of Lancaster Bombers flying over a large dam. The leader pilot indicates his team to dive and we hear the roar of the engines as they drop out of the skies.

Cut to a flotilla of fireboats heading along a river. Fire hoses are being removed from their housing and targeted at a distant building.

Cut to row upon row of allotment gardeners creating a human wall. They point their hoses skywards and we see an elderly man kick open the standpipe.

Now we cut to Tokyo, New York and Madrid. Across these cities we see people look to the skies and united as one, they open their umbrellas.

*Cut to infant school children filling their buckets with water.

Cut to taps around the world being turned on and we see baths beginning to overflow.

And then, in the slowest of slow motion, we see a bath plug pulled. We see a bouncing bomb hit a dam. We see water cannons fire great plumes of water into the air, until finally a Tsunami of water comes crashing through into the apartment of the young blond actress who is covered in bubbles but still laughing and full of fun.

Just before she closes her eyes she says to camera, "It's clinically proven to remove hidden toxins and leave my skin feeling super clean."


The Neutrogena Marketing Director looks up from the script, stands up, walks to the creative director, embraces him, and throws a glass of water in his face.

"Genius," he says.

John Fountain is a copywriter.
Visit John Fountain's website 
Twitter: @fountainjohn


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