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iPhone, iPad, therefore iAm.

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A In two days time our lives, as we know them, are about to change forever. Why, you ask? Because the iPad is here of course. Do try to keep up, people.

Apple are going to be opening their stores at 8am to accommodate the vast quantity of eager customers who will allegedly be queuing up outside, wads of hard-earned cash at the ready. Apple geeks have been able to pre-order the iPad for some time now, but will have to wait until mid-June to receive their tablets owing to the huge demand in the UK and the unprecedented popularity of the iPad since it was launched in the US. Those who really are desperate to get their hands on one will have to queue up on Friday morning and keep their fingers crossed that the shelves are not bare once, and if, they make it inside.

But just who are these people who are so eager to own an oversized iPhone? Personally, I don't know a single person who has pre-ordered one, let alone anyone who will be grabbing their sleeping bags come Thursday night. What is the big deal? The software is basically identical to the iPhone, except it's in HD which I'm sure comes in really useful when you are trying to write an email on the Tube. The 9.7 inch screen is lovely for watching videos and viewing your mates' blurry, drunken photos on Facebook, I'm sure, but will it shatter as easily as they do with iPhones? AND, tell me if I'm wrong here, but I thought advancing technology is supposed to be making things smaller, not bigger? Why would someone want to be walking around with the modern equivalent of an Etch-A-Sketch under their arm? The iPad will become a walking invitation to muggers and yet another complication in our lives which will be prone to being left on bus seats and in hotel rooms and. of course, yet another bloody thing to have to remember to charge up each night.

Another ‘unique' selling point of the iPad is that you can read books on it (what exactly, is wrong with lovely paper ones which decorate your bookshelves and can be lent to friends etc?) but there is a slight problem here in that no commercial publishers have signed up as yet.

What is perhaps most unfathomable about the iPad's appeal is the price. You can opt for a thrifty £429 version, or really splash out on the £699 model. Considering that this amount of money would buy you a MacBook Pro, or several iPhones or even say, a holiday, this all just goes to show that the Apple church consists of people with more money than sense who will do anything to appear one step ahead of the game in the technology catwalk that they see as life.
 

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