Although one never expects a bingo company's advertising to be the height of sophisticated creative communication, I am being driven slowly crazy by Gala's new strapline. 'Sing Gala-la-la' it goes. Leaving aside the obvious gaffe they've made by running the phrase over a version of Steam's 1969 hit 'Kiss Him Goodbye' (the lyric is 'NaNa,NaNa' not 'LaLa,LaLa'), this is just another example of the media and marketing industries' enthusiasm for treating us all like children.
I'm all for the use of catchy music and verbal hooks to support a commercial campaign, but 'Gala-la-la' means absolutely nothing, and worse, resembles the noises an infant makes between the ages of one and two, when they're struggling and failing to speak.
Something similar is going on with Halifax. Their 'local heroes' work, which has been running for about a year now, talks about grown adults in a toe-curling tone, which even a toddler would reject as a bit too patronising. "Laura, you're on a roll!", "If anyone's giving extra, it's you Linda!". To my ears, this is akin to listening to a kindergarten teacher, rather than a bank addressing potential customers.
"Now we're faced with childish stuff about yummy toppings."
This approach infests messaging far and wide. Just look at the packaging and wrapping on everyday foodstuffs. There was a time when a list of ingredients and some straightforward cooking directions were sufficient; now we're faced with childish stuff about 'yummy toppings' and 'toasty goodness'. A couple of months ago, I bought a granola bar to go with my fashionable coffee. Under the brand name was the phrase 'Open me and put me in your tummy'. Well, thank you snack people, now I'm aware of the mechanisms of eating, I'll go right ahead. It made me feel quite sick, before I'd even taken a bite.
Since the success of the meerkats (who I actually exempt from this accusation, as they're beautifully realised and perfectly written), many brands have been chasing similar renown. Unfortunately, they've sacrificed wit and sharpness for nauseating cuteness. If you'd have told my grandparents they'd receive a free soft toy with their life insurance, they'd have been astonished, annoyed and perplexed. Now, some kind of juvenile mascot is standard. Little clay dogs explain how they'll extract legal redress for you, in the event of an accident; and weeping robots personify a car insurance comparison website. We live in a world where serious subjects are smothered in the language of the nursery, as though we're too immature to process intelligent information.
"Weather forecasters are particularly guilty."
Funnily enough, weather forecasters are particularly guilty of this habit. On my local bulletin, the man tells us he'd like us to send him our photographs (for no apparent reason). His email address starts paultheweatherman@xxxx. No surname, just a handle which reminds us of Postman Pat or Fireman Sam. Light showers are now referred to as 'spits and spots' and when an icy wind blows, we're told to 'wrap up warm', lest we take to the streets in a state of nakedness and perish. Please, just give us the forecast in straightforward multi-syllable words, and we'll take it from there.
What's happening? How have we drifted into a baffling era of infantilisation? I suspect it's almost unconscious. Young bucks now working in TV, advertising and the wider media are used to being spoken to in a twee, patronising way - and so they push everything through the same sickly filter. There's also an arrogant superiority afoot. An assumption that, because you work in the creative industries, you have a mission to explain everything in childish terms to a populace too underdeveloped to absorb facts in any other way.
Of course, my observation could easily be confused with killjoying. Surely this behaviour just makes the world a more light-hearted, enjoyable place? But no. That would be to confuse fun with crassness, and levity with ludicrousness. So here's my plea: if your audience is under five, then please continue with the above. But if you're speaking to grown-ups, adjust your language accordingly. That would be just yummy.
Magnus Shaw is a blogger and copywriter
