M&S and the eradication of Frankie Cocozza


I chuffing hate X-Factor. I hate the contestants, the judges, the constant over-dramatisation always to the soundtrack of a Snow Patrol or Coldplay and most of all I hate the fact that it's all people seem to be talking about. So with all that in mind, and in the interests of audience interests, X-Factor is the subject of today's blog.

The big news yesterday was that Frankie Cocozza has been given the boot. For those who remain in blissful ignorance like me, Frankie is the token 'rock'n'roll' (note the '') element of the show who mopes around like the little emo he is with his bouffant hairstyle and skinny jeans. The exact reason as to why he has been given he chop remains to come out, all we know at the moment is that he has broken one of the '˜Golden Rules' of the competition after Ofcom have been investigating two different complaints about him. One was that he shouted 'F**king get in there!' before the watershed, after surviving the public vote, and the other is that he was seen 'glamorising' the consumption of alcohol in a club in London during a night off. For the 'rock'n'roll' contestant, this is surely not punishable behaviour, nor should it be surprising for any ordinary lad his age, but nevertheless, the god's have spoken.

What has added another level of (boredom) interest to this year's X-Factor is that good old mumsie M&S have now launched an X-Factor special multi-million pound advertising campaign for the Christmas period. For those who have so far escaped it, here it is'¦

As you can see, each of the contestants sings a little solo of '˜When You Wish Upon A Star' before rejoining as a group for a finale. Wanting to '˜retain its focus' throughout the coming months, M&S are editing contestants out of the advert as the competition goes along. The Risk and Johnny Robinson, of Sunday night axing, will soon disappear from the advert, but not before poor old Frankie who has already been chopped from almost all of today's showings of the advert, and certainly all of tomorrow's. It would seem that M&S, much like Ofcom, have no room for any vaguely authentic rock'n'roll behaviour.

Presumably, whoever goes on to win this god forbidden competition will get to sing the whole advert on Christmas Day or something, this means that each contestant will have had to sing the whole version, with an air of fake jubilance during the filming, most of which recordings will never see the light of day, oh M&S you are a cruel mistress.

I shall try and hide from both X-Factor and this ruddy advert for the next couple of months but I fear they will both be waiting to pounce on me via all mediums, for a show which is taking great pleasure in taking the moral high-ground, it seems to forget about the fact that it's whole ethos is based around laughing and poking the fun out of people who's nerves often get the better of them whilst the judges bully the surviving contestants, and each other. Personally, I think this all sends out a far more negative message than a night on the tiles with a few too many shandies involved but then hey, this is the world as Simon Cowell intended it.

Jessica Hazel

Writer, blogger and vintage trader.



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