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Are creatives more difficult to love?

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Misplaced romanticism is a common curse in popular culture. There’s the concept of the “troubled genius” creative that, for some, excuses some pretty reprehensible behaviour and puts a rose-coloured lens over mental illness. It’s something that’s never sat well with me, particularly as someone that’s struggled with mental health issues his entire adult life. And let me tell you - none of it is even remotely sexy.

But when it comes to creatives and dating, what others find so romantic and compelling can be a complete turn-off for almost everybody else. Indeed, dating a creative type may seem a daunting prospect for many. In generic Hollywood romcoms, creatives in love are often seen as unlucky at best, and detached and difficult at worst.

Tarnished with the brush of the ‘daydreamer’ and ‘loner’ stereotypes all too often, creative thinkers are sometimes unfairly misjudged, particularly when it comes to the world of dating. But the art of ‘creativity’ is also often associated with curiosity, outside the box thinking and risk-taking, whilst sensitivity and intimacy are seen as key characteristics of creative thinkers. Wouldn’t that make them (us) ideal relationship candidates?

Is there such a thing as an ideal creative partner?

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When it comes to finding the ideal partner in 2022, surprisingly, a great deal of the most desirable traits match the personality of the creative thinker. A recent study revealed that integrity and sensitivity were hugely important amongst women aged 18-75, whilst another found that women aged 25-50 highly valued positivity and emotional intelligence, traits commonly associated with creative types.

Passion – another sought-after trait common in creative minds – also ranked highly, suggesting that creative individuals may just fit with the ideals women are looking for in a partner in the post-pandemic landscape. Similarly, men prioritise emotional maturity and confidence among other qualities, which are traits continually highlighted in studies of the creative mind.

Last week, I was sent a think piece by print and design studio Solopress which caught my attention this Valentine’s Day. It saw the studio asking its employees to analyse the unique personality traits and tendencies of the typical creative to ascertain what nuances were common in creatives that made them so (supposedly) difficult to love.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is apparently one of the many varied and complicated secret ingredients when it comes to lasting intimate relationships. I guess it makes sense, as the more emotionally switched-on among us are more acutely able to exercise empathy and identify areas for self-improvement. 

Creative individuals are also generally considered to be more emotionally mature than their less creative counterparts. Fames psychologists Scott Barry Kaufman and Carolyn Gregoire also identify creative people as being intuitive, indicating that in the instance of romantic relationships, creatives’ empathetic tendencies will allow for a greater depth of understanding and growth. At least in theory.

Open-mindedness

Creative minds are anything but ordinary. According to research from the University of Bath, creatives love to seek out new experiences, sensations and perspectives, which can breed greater creativity and spark new, original ideas. 

If we apply this to the dating world, it’s apparent that creatives could bring a world of excitement to new relationships by following their spontaneity and passion for new experiences. It could also mean they are more likely to shoot off on a wild tangent and make dangerously impulsive decisions, of course, but you have to take the rough with the smooth sometimes.

The ability to learn and problem solve

Evidence also suggests a meaningful connection between creativity and problem-solving, which could be invaluable given the highs and lows of long-term relationships. According to author Steven Kotler, when the brain encounters dangerous and uncertain conditions, our intuitive creative systems kick into gear, searching through every possible memory database to locate a solution. 

Therefore, risks cause our brains to flex their creative muscles, training the brain to think in unusual ways and to be more innovative and resourceful.

Playfulness 

A key ingredient to any successful relationship is humour. Because what’s life without a little laughter, right? A “GSOH” is often a prominent aspect of the creative personality, suggesting they’d make entertaining companions who are willing to let their hair down. 

Creatives don’t take life too seriously and this lack of uniformity and linear thinking is often how they discover new possibilities in their professional lives. On the flip side, this streak of playfulness can manifest itself in considerably darker ways. It’s also not a particularly useful trait when it comes to boilerplate stuff like housework or coming home from the pub at a reasonable hour. At least in my experience.

Passion and allure

Studies conducted by Northwestern University and the University of London identified an intrinsic link between creativity and romantic passion, indicating that there will be no trouble preserving the romantic ‘spark’ when embarking on a relationship with a creative thinker. 

With their unwavering passion for all aspects of their life, creative souls have the potential to bring a great deal of adventure and intensity to relationships, ensuring that partners feel noticed and deeply appreciated.

Love in the time of creativity

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It would appear that Solopress came to the conclusion that, despite the negative press around creatives as romantic partners, creatives are not more difficult to love. I’d also argue that’s true but add that they just require a little more patience sometimes. The enthusiasm and commitment they display towards their creativity can always extend to their relationships, after all. 

In any case, the takeaway here, this Valentine’s Day, is not to be discouraged from exploring romance with a creative type and to not feel like you don’t deserve it if you just so happen to be one of those “creative types.” 

As a creative type myself currently in the 7th year of a long-term relationship, I can attest there are compromises that need to be made to make it work. But when has anything worth having ever been easy?

Header image by Daniel Franco

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