Converse have just launched a new line which they have labelled as their 'Well Worn Collection'. Before you start conjuring images of cheesy smells and athletes foot contagions please bear in mind that these trainers have been artificially worn in for you, saving you the trouble of walking hundreds of miles, striding through fields at festivals, getting your feet stamped on at gigs and a few cycles of the washing machine.
From now on a nicely faded and frayed Chuck Taylor is no longer the product of months of trainer loyalty, you can just buy it off the shelf. Launching this month in Office stores nationwide, the Well Worn Collection will see a line of new season colours including Butterscotch, Tango Red and Turtledove sold in a softer canvas with pre-stained, distressed and slightly dirtied thinner laces and will set you back £50 for low tops and £55 for high tops.
This kind of thing annoys me, probably because i'm a vintage clothing dealer who marvels at a piece of clothing that's seen a bit of life or has been passed down from a big sister to a little sister, a cousin to a cousin. Spend the time wearing in a pair of Connies and they will reward you with a dishevelled look, or track them down in a vintage store and you will bag a pair for half the price.
It seems unfair that Converse are cashing in on what was previously sacred. What's the point in owning what are seemingly unique shoes when the person who gets on the bus next is wearing the exact same style? I can't imagine that these trainers look authentically 'well worn', there will be a factory production line in operation, where a few flecks of fake dirt and a spray of fake grass stain are no match for a summer of impromptu football matches.
The fashion brand All Saints are also sinners in the fake dishevelled look, they take seem to take great pleasure in chucking mass-produced leather boots in concrete mixers with rocks to make them look 'vintage' and then flogging them for £120 a pop. The same goes for leather jackets which go through hot washes and even get attacked by cheese graters, all adding pounds and pounds to the price tag.
This fake antiquing is not just rampant in the world of fashion, it can be seen all over the world of interiors as well, yummy mummies all over the country are reaching for pots of chalky paints and bashing up Ikea flatpack with rolling pins to give, what they believe, an authentic 'distressed' look.
The truth of the matter is, it doesn't look distressed, it looks shit. And that goes for those trainers too. If you want something to look new, go and buy it new. If you want it old, buy it second hand! There can be no artificial substitute for genuine wear and tear which can only be achieved through life itself and not bought off the shelf, no matter how advanced Converse and the likes' ageing techniques become.
Would you wear a pair of second hand trainers? If not would you invest in a pair of fake vintage ones?
Andy April 2nd, 2013, in the afternoon
I couldn't agree more. It's bad enough that there is a whole industry in India 'distressing' jeans. The whiskering on your prized item of Selvedge denim should be earned. Clothing and shoes should be a part of you, a part of your very soul, otherwise how do you expect to fully express yourself with what you are wearing.