Emotion memory, improper acting motives and self care.

Food for thought...

• What is your motivation for acting?
• How do you care for yourself when performing?

Stanislavsky to me wasalways a mysterious figure, whose we work was like a sealed playground that only adults were allowed to use. Stanislavsky’s name was often dropped when a performance was too over-exaggerated, too colourful and too far removed from real emoting. He becomes a generalised balm - in my experience - to turn child actors away from non-naturalism.

My first experience with Stanislavsky – particularly his technique of ‘emotion memory’ came during a performance of Oliver Twist. This technique involves utilising real life memories that are evoked through sensory cues to deliver truthful reactions on stage, in tune with the given circumstances. I present this as a cautionary tale because I believe it is important for young actors to understand why Stanislavsky's methodology is made so elusive by veteran performers and to take the necessary psychological care when it comes to using the method.

I delved deep into the psychology of Fagin. Playing a man at 50 in 1836 was a far-removed situation from anything I had ever experienced in my 17 years of life and it took effort to understand the character. A clearly defined backstory was important as was the Super Objective and Through Line that I used.

SUPER OBJECTIVE – I need to feel something

THROUGH LINE – I need to survive

My flaw was the my reason for using this technique, not as a method of character exploration or experimentation but as a way to stand out and gain approval. Young actors – in my experience are very concerned with their presentation to others, that they look the best, perform the best and are labelled the best (usually by adults). They are controlled by the ego and the ego is master at numbing suffering in order to be validated by others. The trap that I fell into was to believe that my success was drawn from how much I could replace myself with the character and his traits. I was fixated on the transformation side of performance and disregarded the idea that no matter how much I try to change myself, it is still me underneath it all. This combined with the deep use of mental imagery to evoke emotions and thoughts that weren't mine but Fagin’s led me to a disregard my own physical and psychological well being as seen in this excerpt from my journal.

“I was having nightmares about ‘my father’. I would be erratic and possessive about the role. I was ill twice...I lost weight too, my arms and torso thinned out...I listened to music to make myself afraid and imagined discovering ‘my father’ hanging... I was left so unfulfilled because the ideas of role-mastery and idol-like status were shattered – all I was was a good tribute act to Ron Moody. I was glad to be rid of him [Fagin] because he represented my obsessiveness to be perfect in the eyes of everyone else...I was just a vehicle for the character in the hopes I’d be loved for it.”

It is important to see that my motivation behind acting at this stage in my life was unhealthy. The search for the gratification from other people - in my experience - can only lead to unfulfilling performances and a greater pressure to go to extremes to get people to adore you. The basis of Stanislavsky's method is that of self care and attention with breath control, attention and meditation all a part of what he called his creative process.

Following this performance, I have always taken steps to ensure my own mental and physical wellbeing during a show. Some important parts of my regime are...

• Exercise 20 minutes first thing in the morning. This helps alleviate the fear hormone that is strongest in the morning.
• 10 Minutes meditation prior to any performance. This calms the mind and keeps a measure on adrenaline, helps for the flow of thoughts during the show
• Eating well and Sleeping well. It is imperative that during long rehearsals, the correct amount of calories within a balanced diet are consumed. Sleeping 7-9 hours is an effective way to restock emotional vaults so that you can sustain a performance for a long period.
• Stretches and physical warm-ups - to prevent injury.

On reflection, my advice to younger actors, who also see the mystery of Stanislavsky as an enticing entrance into the world of mature performances would be the following...

• For those who are older, Bella Merlin’s book ‘The Complete Stanislavsky Toolkit' (Nick Hern Books LTD, 2007) is a detailed and easy to understand presentation of all Stanislavsky's techniques. I challenge you to read three chapters. This book is effective at highlighting the importance of mental fortitude and the mindfulness and self-awareness that is implicit to anyone attempting to use heavy techniques like emotion memory.
• The person you must care for the most whilst acting is yourself. The better cared for your own mind is, the better it will service you as a tool for performance and the easier it will be to open and close the boxes of emotion in your brain.
• Go out into the world and experience life as the person that you already are. Your success in utilising the methodologies of this practitioner derive from how rich and full your own stock of memories is. By fabricating backstories and emotions before you have truly experienced them is draining and puts a strain on your mental health. This isn’t the time to refine your craft, it is the time to explore your own lives and emotions. You must find the materials before you start to paint.

Hello. I'm James and I hope that you were able to learn from my experiences here. I am looking to put together a series of called ‘The Good Actor’ where I will discuss the qualities, I think are necessary for being a working actor. Any feedback on style, content or topics would be greatly appreciated. I wish you good health and good luck experimenting. If you would like to discuss something with me then send me a message! Get solving!

 

Oliver. 2019. The British Theatre Academy.
Photo. Eliza Wilmot