About me

I could very well be the greatest writer in the history of mankind. Then again, so could you. Most of the people who are going to find and read this profile are probably talented artists. In some way, I like that, but it's also intimidating. My real goal, ever since I realized there's no real money to be made in writing until you're a star, is to become a star. That doesn't mean I need to write more or better. It means I need a rich uncle who also happens to work for a publisher. Or it means the right talented person stumbles across my work. That person could be you, like when you have that high-paying, questionable job in a few years, and you start to wondering about all the people you never really met along the way. I'm that regret.

Speaking of regret, I bet that there are tons of authors who have set up profiles like this who write about what I've written so far and call it a day. Ten years later, when that tiny About me article is still only getting one lonely hit a month, those people won't even consider the regret they should feel. But I see that little word counter on the top (at 1120 right now), and I imagine all the wonderful stories I could tell you in 5,000 words. At least the beginnings of stories.

Let's do this one backwards and only semi-chronologically. At this very moment, I'm writing a lot because my wife has not forced me to get another job. I sell my teaching lessons on TeachersPayTeachers as Educabana, I sell some books on Amazon as Brian Jaeger, and I rent out my house in Milwaukee, WI. I also build websites, but that's just because I'm good at it and doing it can pay some bills. Oh yeah, I sell these Cranium Chromebook Covers on Educabana (my education site), too. But, like I said, I'm also writing.

My main creative outflow right now is writing articles about being new to Jacksonville, Florida. I use the name NewJaxWitty for my website domain. It's more newsy than most of my writing, even though it's technically a blog. I'm not a trained journalist, and I don't really aspire to be one. My wife has a journalism degree, and that's plenty in the family.

I'm also working on my novel. I've taken a few years off from writing it, but as I s-l-o-w-l-y apply to local jobs, my plan is to finish it. And I have two good ideas for teenage angst novels that I've kind of started. But that's all in the future, and About me articles should highlight what I've actually done.

I have a bunch of poems, short stories, and even teaching lessons on Amazon. Those were mostly written between 2000 and 2014. 2014 is when I lost my English teaching job. I was honestly fine with making a living wage and retiring at 55, but I got laid off, so all the stuff I'd written in all the years of teaching and before went into some books and websites.

My wife and I were actually trying to launch our Satisfamily site just as I lost my job. The idea was for her to write more than me. She would stay home and report on healthy recipes and fun activities with the kids. I would teach and come home to watch sports on TV. I'd been trying to get noticed as a satire writer for some time at Real Wisconsin News, but that wasn't really paying off, so I focused on teaching until that ended. Then Satisfamily became my blog as my wife looked for work. And I added a lot of my writing to my McNewsy website, too.

By the time I began writing and building websites full-time, I had amassed a huge cache of writing, which led to my books. Two screenplays, a musical play, and the aforementioned poems and short stories. I continued to add articles to Satisfamily until I moved to Jacksonville, Florida, at which point NewJaxWitty came about.

I pass some of my days building websites. My web building business has three names: Passive Ninja, Luthernet, and Brave New Church. I'm kind of trying to position myself as the go-to church website guy. It's not totally working, which explains why I'm also slowly looking for work.

With about 1,000 words left, I'm starting to feel like you're not really paying attention anymore. This is a very long About me page, but I'm committed to using up the words allotted to me. I could tell you about my multi-million dollar inventions that I don't want to divulge because then you'd find a way to make them. Or I could tell you about all the times being an introvert ruined my life, but if you've read this much of my profile, you don't need to hear your own life story from someone else.

With only about 500 words left, I'm in the final stretch here. I want to say that I think connecting with others who are writers is a good idea. However, I've gained more from it when I meet them in person rather than on some social media website. Jacksonville doesn't have the Meetups Milwaukee did, so I've been a little lost for companionship in my writing endeavors here. I did just finish a cool novel-length story I wrote with a friend named Wild West Allis, but that was from our work over the past decade. And now I am out of